


Half-Life: Alyx - Dies Irae

by lechechu



Category: Half-Life, Half-Life: Alyx
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Possible Character Death, Post-Apocalypse, Pre-Canon, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 12:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21816685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lechechu/pseuds/lechechu
Summary: Years after the Resonance Cascade, the story follows a young woman by the name of Alyx Vance, a resistance fighter against the extraterrestrial beings called The Combine.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Predicament

<}_Ready, Alyx?_{>

As Uncle Kleiner says; Ready, willing, and **fully** enabled.

With the cocking of a gun, the younger woman checked her ammunition before sliding the weapon into the holster around her thigh, before moving to tighten the straps of her backpack. Hazel eyes stared at the wall before her - dark, monstrous, delivering the building behind it in ruins. However, a slit of an opening to allow her through. Inhaling deeply, Alyx had begun to traverse over the rubble, to enter that dark slit within.

**[72 Hours Ago]**

“Shit shit shit shit!” With the scattering of birds from her position and the yelling of the metro cops, Alyx slid behind some piping to avoid the ricochet of bullets that were shot at her position. Hearing the rushing footfall towards her position, the woman had swung her leg out to trip one of them and grab hold of the weapon that slid from him. Laying on her side, Alyx had shot the three that had opened fired on her in the first place, causing their lines to go dead. Panting at the silence left behind, and the wind to rustle her locks of hair, she then laid directly onto her back upon that roof, staring up at the hazed sky.

Hearing the radio go off on the dead bodies to get the location of the anti-citizen, Alyx soon swallowed and rose to her feet, as it was best to leave the area. They were indeed looking for her - as she had spotted some intel that someone like her shouldn’t have seen in the first place. Sidling the wall to make her way onto another part of the building, she then hopped up to a window to crawl inside, grunting as she missed her footing and tripped, landing face-first instead.

“Oh for fuck’s sake...” Alyx spoke muffled as her mouth was squished against the floor, “_Whoops_, language.” She corrected herself, before managing to sit up onto her knees. Crawling over to a toolbox, Alyx rummaged through it momentarily, trying to see if there was anything that they could use for repairs. Wasn’t Kleiner looking for a 3/8ths torque wrench? Or was that Barney? It had been so long that she practically forgot who asked for what. It was that along the lines of; why was she putting herself at risk? 

Someone had to do a scavenger hunt. 

Hearing the sound of a scanner began to beep and take a picture of her, Alyx had turned and threw a hammer at it, causing it to back up and one of its rotors to disengage from being damaged. Covering her eyes to prevent being blinded by the flash, she then threw a wrench at it once more, growling as dodged out of the way due to it already sustaining damage, causing the wrench to fly out the window and down to the streets below. Then realization struck her.

“Fuck, I _needed_ that!” Alyx cursed aloud before covering her eyes again to the picture-taking annoyance and picked up an old, rusted golf club from the corner to swing at it. Managing to clip a sensor on it, Alyx then yelled out and raised the club yet again.

“Go retrieve the wrench for me!” Smacking it out the window, Alyx vented in before moving to take a peek outside, watching the scanner fall to its inevitable doom, shattering into pieces once it hit the concrete. Dropping her expression, hazel eyes soon rolled.

“_Useless_.” Looking to the golf club in her hands, she then hummed as it was slightly bent from being used as a weapon, rather than a leisurely sport. She gave a shrug before tossing it aside… before rather much picking up again. She could use that to deal with misfits or use the material for repairs. Alyx soon made her way downstairs, unaware of a pair of glowing eyes watching her from the dark corners of the apartment. 

Approaching a vending machine, Alyx raised her hand to begin knocking on it before pausing. Fuck, what was the code again? Coin, then… Whining, she then knocked once on the door before stepping back, as it revealed Barney Calhoun, giving her a look. Lowering her hand slowly, he then gave the most shit-eating grin.

“Told ya you’d forget it.”

“I did not! I _was_ going to do it, but then you opened the door, and **shut up**!” Moving past him, Alyx huffed and set the golf club aside. Barney chuckled and crossed his arms.

“Sure ya did. Look, I’m not going to be here every single time to let you in, you know. So you have to learn it. And remember not to--”  
“--get followed, yeah yeah, I know. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“You sure act like one.”

“Fuck you, dude!”

“_Hey_! **Language**! If your dad hears you talkin’ like that, he’ll rip me a new one.” Barney narrowed his eyes and rubbed the back of his head at the sight of the golf club. Was that all she could find? What good would this thing do, besides being a weapon? Well, a somewhat _useless_ weapon, as these metro cops carry guns now.

“What the hell is that?”

“What? Never played golf before?”

“Have you?”

“_Har har_… I thought it might come in handy, so I brought it with. I also ran into trouble on the way here, but that’s another sob story. Also, for your information, I did play golf. But mostly in the form of hitting a home run with a scanner. So it’s not _exactly_ the same sport.” Rolling his eyes, Barney picked up the 9 Iron and examined it, setting it back down before realizing what she just said.

“Wait wait wait, a scanner? It took pictures of you - _goddamn it_, Alyx. I thought you were supposed to lay low!”

“Dude, chill, seriously. The trouble came before that. I _might_ have overstepped my boundaries on a few CPs, no biggie. They’re dealt with anyway. None of that compares to the actual juicy news I have to tell.” Alyx grinned and sat in an office chair, sliding it along the floor for fun.

“What?”

“I heard one of the sectors on the other side of town has some good items to help with Doc’s teleporter. It would be nice to check it out.”

“... That’s hardly news, I’ve been knowing about that too.”

“You lie.”

“I’m serious! Alyx, I _work_ with them, remember? I heard everything.”

“Oh fuh--” Alyx then stopped her words as she got a serious look from the double agent. “--I _mean_, crap.” She then shrugged and went back to sliding along the floor with the chair, leaving Barney to rub his face.

“I much rather prefer you to stay here with Kleiner than be out there in danger.”

“Then why did you send me out there in the first place?”

“I didn’t--! **YOU** went out there in the first place. I just told you to not get noticed! There’s a big difference.” Scrunching her face, Alyx stopped her sliding and sighed, looking up to the ceiling. He’s got her there. Blinking her hazel eyes free of dust, she then glanced over to Barney who slid his fingers through his hair.

“Look, I get it. You’re young, you’re bored and you got all these… _urges_ to get into _trouble_. But you have to understand that getting into trouble leads to horrible consequences. You can get followed, or worse, _we_ can get found out.” Stopping her from spinning her in her chair, Barney looked directly into her eyes.

“Get it?”

“I got it. But do you?”

“... Ugh, you’re annoying.”

“Hehe, you love me. If I weren’t here, you’d be bored. Besides, it’s not like I can leave easily. Dad’s lab is all the way out of town. And communication is terrible. He hasn’t talked to us in - what - 2 days? He probably needs cable.”

“How do you know what cable is?”

“**I don’t!**” Alyx proclaimed proudly, causing Barney to snort at the younger woman spinning once again in her chair.

“Alright, I’m out of here, I can’t deal with this.” Barney rolled his eyes and picked up his mask before making his way to the door. Alyx watched him before leaning over too much and falling to the floor, cursing lowly to herself. She was a bit dizzy from spinning too much, but she sure showed him.

“Don’t cause any trouble!” She rolled over onto her knees and watched Barney leave through the vending machine door before hearing Dr. Kleiner finally emerge from the other room, shoving a few oil-stained napkins in his lab coat.

“I thought I heard you come in.”  
“Yep, it’s still me.”

“Now, don’t be like that, my dear. You’re always a delight to have around. Besides, I do need your help, and with Barney maintaining status and suspicion awry from us, you’re all I have left.” Alyx blinked and made a face as the older man had approached her.

“Uh, thanks? Is that a compliment or…?”

“Of course, my dear, I wouldn’t dare insult you. I can’t really trust Barney, he’s not very dextrous in the field of work I manage, he might break something.” Alyx giggled at the remark, leaving the scientist to nod and wave for her to come along into the main part of the lab, to gaze upon the machine he was working on. 

“So, what’dya need me to do? Put some wires together? Flip a switch? Crack some mice heads or something?”

“Actually, something more endearing. I need you to read me out some codes so I know that they line up with the data that was scripted out from last night’s test.”

“... You want me to _read_?”

“Precisely.”

“... Barney can’t do that at least, let’s go for it!” Alyx smiled and perked up as she was helping her favorite guardian. He had certainly been at this for a while. A teleporter - something that would help them get from one point to the next. Something those metro cops can’t even begin to fathom on how it works. They were in a weird location overall, lucky to have found a place that didn’t allow them to be out in the open, in clear view of the hawkeye that was the so-called Citadel. Or what was becoming of it. 

She had seen it’s current construction, growing to be way taller than any skyscraper in the city. A project made by them, to enact superiority, fear, and establish power and order. Her father had told her that the human race had fallen after 7 hours, and were no longer atop the chain. Now they answered to a new race - the Combine. What was once a beautiful European city was nothing more than a sanction city for these extraterrestrial beings.

Glancing to a picture frame on the wall, Alyx gazed to it as it showed some scientists in front of a board that was labeled Black Mesa Research Facility. Two among them were of her father and Kleiner, but others she had not recognized. She then gazed to one of the scientists on the far right, her hazel eyes adjusting to focus on the man. He had a goatee and glasses, but she could hardly see his eyes due to the flash from the photo being taken.  
Who’s that, daddy?

Small hands reached for the old photograph, finger-pointing to that of a man focused in the back of the group - bearded, glasses; he looked like a total geek. Approaching his tiny daughter, her father had swiftly scooped her up into his arms to hold, gazing to the photograph she was pointing at.

“Which one, Alyx?”

“Him!” Alyx pointed again to the man in the back, retracting her finger once her father gave a small, almost sad chuckle at the realization. She gazed at him when he released a soft sigh; she could tell that this man had known him for a while. Was he important, or a good friend?

“That… is Dr. Gordon Freeman. Your daddy worked with him since before the Black Mesa Incident, you know?”

“Really?”

“Really. We worked in Sector C, the Anomalous Materials Laboratory. He was a darn good scientist; smart and reliable. Though, he didn’t talk much. He showed his actions more than his words. When… the facility eventually collapsed into ruin with the Resonance Cascade, he was the one in that test chamber. It… it should have killed him but, I believed he was just full of sheer willpower that made him survive and walk out of there, unscathed.” Her father smiled as Alyx gave a small giggle; him too giving a chuckle out of the old memory.

That old, old but still painful memory.

“He was the one to try and get up to the surface, to signal for help, such as the military who came. Though, unfortunately, I think they had different plans; they think he was a target and the reason why this happened. We were on our own, and I carried you through that hellish facility.”

“_Language_!”

“You’re right baby girl, sorry.” He chuckled as Alyx corrected him on his apparent curse word, before glancing back to the old, creased photograph on Dr. Kleiner’s wall. He gazed at the clean, and crisp face of Freeman, whilst comparing it to when he left that damned test chamber. Battered and bleeding, yet still had eyes that were alive.

“So, where is he now, daddy?” Pausing at the question, her father glanced down to his daughter still within his arms before glancing back to the picture frame.  
“... Nobody knows, sweetheart. I haven’t seen him since that day. I don’t think anyone has. Not even your uncle Kleiner, or Mr. Calhoun.”

“Do you think he’s dead?” Her father paused at such a grim thought; would he have made it out? Eaten alive? Fallen off some sort of ledge? Shot up by the military marines? Or could he not take it anymore, and decided to kill himse--

“Dad?” The weathered man eventually snapped out of his own grim thoughts once he realized that his daughter was still waiting for an answer, staring up at him with big, hazel eyes and a confused face. He shifted his weight of carrying her as his arms were getting tired, and his good leg was aching from the lean before smiling.

“No, I don’t. He’s strong, brave, and smart. I’m sure he’s around somewhere, probably wondering the same thing as us. If we made it out okay or wondering where we are. He could be a mere few miles away, or a _thousand_ miles away. We have slim chances of running into each other in this current age.”

“Do you think I’ll meet him one day?”

“Maybe, Alyx. Maybe.” He smiled as he and his daughter looked upon the photograph once more, glancing at the man that made it possible for their survival. Wherever he was, if he was still around, her father knew that this mess would be far from over. Even if he did show up, he might be roped into another Black Mesa situation or worse.

And so those years passed; Alyx had grown into a beautiful, fearsome and smart individual, as her father couldn’t be prouder of her achievements. In the back of her mind, the idea of the man she had looked at constantly in the photograph, was no longer just a wish to meet him. It was a want, even though she wasn’t sure that man still exists, to begin with. That horrible catastrophe happened years ago; would he still look the same as he did in his photograph? 

Lightly rubbing dust free from the picture frame with her thumb, she then blinked at the reflection of a pale man, staring back at her from behind, causing her to look and see if he was there. Seeing no one, other than the older scientist fixing the machine with a tool she had found a while ago, Alyx then glanced back to the picture frame, seeing no illusion come back to her. 

Why did that face seem so… familiar?

Footsteps echoed within that darkness, hardly seeming established of what direction they were coming from. Those footsteps came closer, as finally the figure who belonged to them stepped into the light. An older gentleman, a gaze that was of a gentle nature until the same gaze had settled upon her. The expression had changed, either for the better or worse, but with a clear, _ill_ intent.

Opening her hazel eyes, Alyx gazed to the large tower being erected in the middle of the city as the warm wind rustled her locks once more. She had planted herself against a ventilation unit, with no intention to have fallen asleep, but had done so from the sheer exhaustion of working. Lightly shifting in place, the younger woman then flinched as the flock of birds near her had scattered from her movement, spooking her in the process. Clicking her tongue, she then picked up her sweater to dust it free of crumbs that the pigeons had brought to feast on.

Hearing a gunshot in the distance, Alyx had paused, wondering if it was intended for her. Hearing no bullets whiz past her or the like, she then moved to gaze over the edge of the roof, hurriedly putting on her sweater as she spotted a man fleeing from some metro cops. Using the rooftops as her method of following the chase, she kept herself hidden in some parts due to the hunter choppers overhead bringing metal to the gigantic Citadel in the distance. Sliding down the roofing, she stopped herself before she went over the edge, trying to get a good look at the man they were chasing.

Huffing in annoyance as they kept weaving between areas to prevent being seen, Alyx took initiative to get on ground level, despite knowing how dangerous it would be. Running down the fire escape of one building, the younger woman jumped to the concrete below and ran to the corner nearby before following the sound of gunshots to get a range of distance of where they were going. About to step out to the playground of sorts, she then backed up at the sight of a few cops, and an Outlook Strider roaming the street. 

Were they going after the guy, or were they just patrolling? Moving to the building opposite of her, she used the alleyways to avoid being seen, spotting the man run past her area, with a few metro cops not too far behind. Looking around the corner, she watched the man enter into an apartment building that was partly ruined. Looking around, Alyx realized she had never been in this part of the sector before, so she was heading in blind. However, that man needed help. Maybe he was new, or in the least wanted for a minuscule crime. 

Looking around, Alyx had tore a loose pipe from the wall of the alleyway before making her way to the apartment building. Entering inside before an APC could spot her while on its patrol, she pressed against the wall before hazel eyes gazed to the outside world before hearing a scuffle within the ruined apartment.

“Okay, Alyx… keep your cool.” She spoke to herself before moving across the dirt and rubble, following the imprints within it to seek out who needed help.  
Adjusting her grip on the pipe, Alyx inhaled deeply as she made her way upstairs, avoiding the water that dripped from the second floor. She didn’t know what it contained, so it was best to avoid having it hit her body. Who knew what these aliens were pumping into the wells or reserves, or even in the air. 

Peeking up from the steps, she watched as a few cops were searching the rooms, speaking to each other in regards to where the man went. Sneaking into one room as she went upstairs, Alyx waited and glanced around the doorway, watching the cops enter one room. She then blinked as the man escaped from a crawlspace in the wall. He was wearing a strange hat - and an even more so strange outfit. Waiting and watching the man from the other room, she then stepped out, looking around.

“Psst! Hey!” Whispering to him, he glanced at her before hearing the metro cops step out from the room, raising their guns to her. Alyx vented in.

“Drop your weapon!” One of the metro cops yelled, causing the younger woman to drop the old pipe at her feet and lift her hands in surrender as they drew near to her position in the middle of the hall. Glancing to the side momentarily, Alyx lightly backed up before kicking the pipe towards the cops, causing them to temporarily cower from the object flying towards them. Feeling her arm being tugged, the man had pulled her into the room and closed the door before pushing her towards the window.

“For god sakes, go!” Going to the window, Alyx gazed around first before adjusting herself as she crawled out to some gutter pipes, hanging on tightly as the man followed after. Sliding down the pipes, she waited for the man to follow with as the two took off running, ignoring the alarms that were going off.

“My lab’s just up ahead! This way!” The man pulled Alyx’s arm to turn instead of going straight, both of them running down an alleyway. Upon realizing, Alyx then stopped in place.

“Wait a minute, I don’t know you! Why am I following you?”

“You really asking me this **now**?!” He then pointed behind her as a few metro cops took out their weapons, chasing them down the alleyway, in which Alyx threw common sense out the window and followed after the man. Jumping over rubble, Alyx had done the same, watching the man head up to an apartment building that was partly destroyed by the Combine walls. Entering inside, Alyx panted hard from the run, leaning against the wall within to catch her breath, as well as the metro cops to continue running in a direction to chase them. Without even knowing the half of it.

Sighing in relief, Alyx then looked to the man on the opposite wall of her.  
“They’re gone.”

“Yeah, not entirely, but at least a few eggheads are a couple of _airheads_. They’ll scour the area now, thanks.”

“Hey, I just saved your life! Don’t be ungrateful.”

“More like you just put our lives in more danger than before. If I was ungrateful, I wouldn’t have led you to my private place. My fortress of solitude, my place of inner zen and peace. Now it’s ruined. Like many things in this place.” The man dusted off his outfit and hands before moving towards a wall and removing a piece of metal, revealing a decent-sized hole within. He then glanced at her, eyeing her up and down before humming.

“Well? Are you going to stand there and gawk and wait for those airheads to finally find us, or are you coming?”

“... As long as you don’t chop me into tiny pieces.”

“_Please_.” The man huffed and watched as the younger woman entered through the hole, with him covering it after entering himself, making sure it wouldn’t fall over or the like. Gazing around the area, Alyx hummed as the various knick-knacks around. Some of this stuff could prove useful for Kleiner and his teleporter, but if this man was a collector of some sort, there was no way he would part with these.

“Up here.” The man told her and went up some grated stairs. Following after, Alyx stared to the back of his head before humming.

“Your name… wouldn’t have to be _Gordon_, right?”

“What? No. Who?” The man squinted his eyes in confusion as he went up the stairs.

“Gordon. Gordon _Freeman_? The scientist?”

“Never heard of ‘em. Scientist, yes, I am. Well, more like a _rogue_ scientist, no one bothers to give out Nobel Peace Prizes anymore, but ehm… how can you when the distributors are all dead?” The man looked through a bucket of items and memory boards before looking to Alyx and standing up, sighing and smiling.

_Name’s Russell._


	2. The Vault in Our Stars

“Russell.”

“Yes, for the _fifteenth time_, that’s my name.”

“You don’t look like a Russell.”

“Well, then, what do I look like? A Bacchus? A Hercules? A _Michaelangelo’s David_?” Posing with his hand underneath his chin as he stood there, Russell then glanced to Alyx as she squinted her eyes in complete confusion. He then waved his hand to her in annoyance.

“**Uncultured**.”

“You just don’t look like a Russell, is all.” 

“Well that’s my name, and you clearly _are_ wearing it out, young girl. So what’s your name then?”

“Alyx. With a Y.”

“Why? As in _why not stop pestering_ me about my name? Who named you that?”

“My parents. Who else?” Alyx huffed and crossed her arms. Russell rolled his eyes before searching within his lab, tossing papers upon onto the desk. Blinking as he led her to a station of some sort on the wall.

“Put them on. I need to see if they fit.”

“What? Wait, I didn’t volunteer to be your… _test subject_!”

“Just put on the damn gloves.” Russell sighed in frustration, watching the younger woman then insert her hands into the circular station before looking at what was given to her. She vented in and pulled her hands out before looking as the gloves powered on - the device on top vibrating lightly with power and giving a few standard beeps.

“Well look at that, they fit. _And_ they work. Give it a try.”

“What are they?”

“Gravity gloves.”  
“Grabbity gloves?”

“**GRAVITY** gloves. Not... _grabbity_.”

“I’m gonna call them grabbity gloves.”

“Ugh for-- _look_, these are state of the art, only ones of their kind. Use them well, and try not to go crazy. Don’t break them, whatever you do. Also, don’t stay near a microwave near them. Completely fries the mainframe of how it works. Learned that the hard way.” Russell looked to the destroyed version of another pair of gloves he worked on before, seeing the completely burned hole where the device used to be.

“Try picking up this cup from standing where you are.”

“... Okay.” Alyx hummed in confusion before reaching out to the cup, venting in surprise as the gloves pulled the object to her hand, causing her to drop the cup in shock, watching it shatter along the floor in pieces. Russell sighed and put another cup onto the table.

“Do it again, but this time, _relax_.” Russell told her softly, watching Alyx slowly breathe in before reaching out to the cup to bring close to her. She then vented in as it came to her once again, in which the younger woman then relaxed and set the cup back down into the desired location on the table.

“Excellent. You’re getting the hang of it.”

“It’s fuckin’ weird.”

“Figures. But it’ll come in handy in the field. Need to defend yourself? Weapon’s far away? Just reach out and pull it towards you with the _Gravity Gloves_. Patented stuff - _if we weren’t under suppression_ \- these babies would sell out in a heartbeat to the nearest investor.” Russell grinned as Alyx examined the gloves before looking up to the rogue scientist.

“Out in the field? You’re giving me these for free?”

“What? No, it’s not _free_. Listen, I need you to help me. Since you have proven yourself capable, _and I can’t fit into the gloves myself_, you’re perfect for the job. Somewhere, on the outskirts of the city, there’s a vault. Inside the vault, there’s a _weapon_. If you can get inside, make a grab for it and get out, the Combine won’t know what hit them.” Russell moved to a monitor nearby to hack into the security outposts camera feed, showing her the floating object in the sky.

“You do this… you can have the gloves. But make sure you get that weapon back without being seen. They see you with that thing, it’s bad news for the whole world.”  
“Why me?”

“I’m sure you want to prove yourself, yes? Prove that someone like you can handle their own? I’m sure this would be a good example as any to show them. It’s our time to start thinking of our future.” Russell then moved to hand her a backpack full of supplies.

“This should help you on the journey. Since going on foot will take some time.”

“Wait wait wait, before you start sending me on my way… why should I risk _my_ life to help you? I just met you, _**today**_.”

“Why did you help me earlier, then? You saw I was in trouble. You risked your _own_ life earlier, to save mine. I should be the one asking you; why did you do something like that? _Fate_, my darling. We were **destined** to meet.” Russell nodded to her, before blinking as Alyx took off her gloves. 

“I need… I need to think about this.” The rogue scientist watched as Alyx left downstairs, leaving him to gaze at the gloves she took off and left behind. Closing the hole of where she left, Alyx moved to head up to the rooftops, as she wanted to avoid the ground patrols that were traveling about, possibly looking for her and the insane scientist.

Once the sunshine had hit her face, Alyx had soon squatted down, cuddling her legs to calm herself. Even just being out here alone, in the midst of unknown territory was enough to knock her nerves about. It had been a while since her father had contacted Kleiner or even her, so it was a wonder if everything was alright over there. Looking up to the tower being constructed, the younger woman blinked her hazel eyes before closing them.

Stepping into the light, the weathered man stared at the young woman before him, inhaling lightly before his eyes shifted to a desired glow, an unsightly grin to follow. Alyx wanted to speak up, however, it was almost as if her own throat closed on its own, leaving her to choke out some as she opened her eyes. Was this just her anxiety getting the better of her? Blinking as she fell onto her bottom, Alyx slowly breathed out and touched her chest. She had no idea who that man was, yet she felt a familiar sensation. She had seen him before, a long time ago.

Was her brain just bringing these memories up during times of stress? In a method to calm her down? Venting in lightly, she then glanced to the sky as the alarms went off to signify that it was curfew for the citizens. Alyx stood up and used the roof as her method of travel. It was getting dark, no doubt it would be dangerous to be seen in a place she shouldn’t be in the first place. Perhaps Kleiner was worried about her as well, and probably Barney going off his nut when she wouldn’t be there to greet him.  
They were always worried about her. Expected her to be present and accounted for in a world like this. She could understand, but what about how she felt? She wanted to help - to scavenge for things that they need. Barney did it, yet it was hard for him to juggle that along with maintaining an image while in enemy territory as a double agent. 

Would this adventure to this vault prove to them that she’s grown? She wasn’t some child anymore; she could actually maintain her balance while walking now. Yet Barney still saw her as a child. Kleiner saw her as… well, too young in a sense, too smart for her own good. Making her way back to Dr. Kleiner’s lab once it got dark, Alyx stood in front of the vending machine before venting in and sliding a coin into the slot. 

“Okay Alyx… remember how it went.” Alyx stood there quietly before raising her hand and trying to remember what code Barney put in. Lightly sighing and releasing much of the air from her lungs, she then input the code before banging on the side two times, smiling as the door swung open for her.

“Yeah! Alyx - one, door - zero.” Alyx grinned and shimmed a little in her step before squeezing past into the lab before the door could close her out again. That was her last coin, if she was locked out, she’d be locked out for awhile, unless Dr. Kleiner would leave his lab and let her in. Which was rare in some cases. 

“Dr. Kleiner, I’m back!” 

“My goodness, this late? Where have you been?”

“Got a little side-tracked and the patrols were heavy in some parts. Had to wait out a bit.” Alyx lightly rolled her lips inward as she told the lie. She didn’t like to lie to him, but she didn’t want to tell him the truth that she ventured out of their established “safe” area. He would go nuts, and probably forbid her from going out again.

“Well, alright, as long as you’re careful.” Sitting down in the office chair, Alyx then spun a little in it before looking towards Kleiner’s lab area.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What is it, my dear?” Alyx then went silent, in thought if she should tell him about being able to stray from the sector they were in. She could make up a lie, stating that all of the supplies that they could find were now nilch unless they ventured farther. But she could suspect the usual - no, that’s too dangerous, especially for a young lady like you. We’ll find something closer.

“... Never mind.” Alyx returned to spinning in her chair, looking up to the ceiling as she couldn’t bring herself to disobey Kleiner’s wish. He wanted to keep her safe.  
Well, by her father’s wish. Which reminded her, “has Dad contacted yet? It’s been a few days now.”

“Unfortunately no, dearie. They must be having satellite problems over there. I’m sure they’ll fix it and call us when it has.” Pausing her spinning in the chair with his words, Alyx lightly closed her hazel eyes to correct her equilibrium before opening them once more in thought. Maybe she should try and pay him a visit, even though his lab was far. Maybe she could help fix any communication problems they were having over there. At the very least, her father would be angry about her coming over through dangerous terrain, but thankful someone like her could help. 

“Well… wake me up if they do.” Alyx then got up from the chair, getting a hum in response from the older scientist as the young woman moved to a bed in the corner to lay on, glancing to her wall of trophies. Well, trophies, as in things she had made as a child. Drawings, charms, kiddie things. However, as well as stuff she found amongst Kleiner’s old crates. Photos of her mother and father, posing together. As well as their main family photo in a picture frame, beside the bed. 

She was happy that dad saved that at least, where it was the three of them together. 

Closing her hazel eyes to rest, Alyx enjoyed her quiet moment in the corner, crossing her arms to get comfortable. While the bed wasn’t necessarily a bed, it was still better than sleeping on the floor. The floor was cold; dirty. Hardly a place to sleep. However it reminded her just where they lived now, and what situation they lived in. After what went down at Black Mesa, the whole world went to hell. Then those aliens started filing through like nothing. The Combine, right? It was an odd name, but the citizens all collectively agreed to call them that.

He didn’t call them that though. Wallace Breen, her father’s old administrator when Black Mesa was still in service and her father worked there. Alongside Dr. Freeman. She wondered how that would’ve been like. Alyx found herself imagining what stance the Freeman would be in while working; what his voice sounded like, what was his personality like. Instead, it was nil, she couldn’t think of anything that fits that image on the wall.

As her dreams crept forth as she slept, she felt small. Blurry visioned, even tinier hands. An outline of a man came to her, and the sound of muffled talking came forth as well. She was being introduced, right? Was this Dr. Freeman in front of her? As the man leaned down to her, she couldn’t exactly see the sharp image of him - instead she felt his finger touch her tiny hand, in which she managed to grasp onto that finger. 

Alyx heard her father chuckle, talking about how she seemed to like him - which caused the man in front of her to seemingly smile, even though she couldn’t see his eyes. As her father turned to leave, Alyx somewhat whined as she wanted to see the Freeman some more.  
So she had met him before, or was her mind playing tricks on her again? Was she trying to fit something to his image? Or had this really happened? She grew frustrated; no one would ever give her an answer if she didn’t ask. Quietly slipping into deeper sleep, Alyx scrunched her face as the pale, cryptic-looking man flashed by her vision. They were in the middle of a hallway, it seemed like. She was crying as loud noises were going off, most likely alarms as the building shook and ruptured. The man approached her from the doorway, and picked her up. 

Cold as ice, like she was pressed against ice itself. Her crying ceased to mere whimpers as the pale man stared down at her. Glowing blue eyes, however not burning with fierceness, but rather a softened expression. As he stared down at her, he then directed his attention to the side, as a green flash of light happened to his left. The same fierceness returned to that expression, as something otherworldly screeched and curdled its cry before going silent, unlike the alarms. 

“_**Come along with me now, we’ve places to do and things to be…**_” The cryptic man then took the child with him out of the room, before the roof could collapse in on them. Alyx couldn’t help but continue to stare up at him, until the world around them turned black, as if the walls disappeared into another realm itself. 

Opening her hazel eyes, Alyx lightly glanced around the roof above her before closing them once more as she rose to sit up, lightly rubbing her back as it ached. Rubbing her face, the young woman then glanced down to the picture frame in her lap, looking to her mother and father’s face. Using her hand to rub over the glass, she then sighed quietly to herself.

Within his quaint little lab, Russell grunted as he tried to pull a piece of scrap metal from one of the floor panels, yet was having a tough time doing so. With one good pull, the rogue scientist managed to get it undone, calling out in victory before one of the wrenches off his table fell and hit him on the top of the head.

“Oh, you little bugger! You’re lucky I don’t melt you down and turn you into literal sh-”

“Hi.”

Pausing his insult, Russell turned and glanced to where the voice came from, spotting the woman from yesterday, standing within his lab. Standing up with support from the table, he then glanced at the scrap metal in his hands before setting it aside, wiping them clean.

“Hi. _Alyx with a Y_, I remember. I may have lost a few good - _essential memories_, but I still remember faces to names.”

“Good to know.”  
“So… why are you here?”

Alyx stood there quietly before moving to rub at her arm and glance off to the side. She remembered she left that morning without telling Dr. Kleiner of where she was going, but she had a feeling. A strong one, at best. Lightly biting the inside of her lip, she then glanced up to the weathered man in front of her.

“... I’m in.”

“... In what? Deep shit?”

“No, I’m in to go to the vault.” Alyx lightly made a face as Russell then tossed the wrench aside as she had agreed to go to this so-called Vault. 

“Well, that’s fantastic--”

“--on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“... You said the vault is on the outskirts of the city. My dad’s lab is also on the way there. I’m going to find him first… and make sure he’s alright.” Alyx stated, watching Russell stare to her like she was another specimen who needed to be studied. He then gave a smile and a nod.

“Whatever you need to do,” Russell then moved to pick up the gloves she tossed aside earlier, setting it onto the table and sliding it towards her to put on before stepping back.

“_I’m with you every step of the way_.” Russell encouraged to her, watching Alyx pick up the gloves to put on, watching them power on and give some readout beeps before vibrating lightly with energy. Staring at the gloves, the younger woman then glanced at the rogue scientist who slid the backpack from earlier to carry. 

“It’s got everything you need. The journey will be long while on foot, but you should be able to salvage things on the way there since you’re leaving this territory. You might be able to find some citizens that’ll hand off stuff to you along the way in case you run out or the like.” Russell watched as Alyx picked up the medium-heavy bag to carry on her back before looking to the monitor for any indication of a map.

“_There’s no straight shot to the vault_, but if I get close enough, I might be able to get a sense of the general direction. Or, if anything, my dad’s lab might have more information. If it’s close enough.” Alyx looked to the monitor, at the live feed of the floating object in the sky. She might be able to get there in another day if there aren’t too many obstacles.  
“Best to try and stay hidden within the alley’s, or at least the underground metro. You won’t draw any unnecessary attention at least.” Russell brought up a map of the general area before pointing to a subway entrance, just a couple of clicks west. Alyx looked at the screen and studied it before tightening the straps on the backpack.

“Here, leave out this way. It’ll be easier to cut around the outposts they have set up nearby.” Moving to a place in the wall and unlocking some sort of industrial freezer, he pulled the steel door open, revealing another part of the building they were in.

“It’s like they played mashed potatoes or something. Those smart walls are to blame. They like mashing buildings up with other buildings. Either to keep something out, or keep something _in_.” Russell squinted his eyes before watching Alyx head on through, closing the steel door after her, so in the event if she were to get caught stepping outside, the Combine wouldn’t get in so easily.

Unless those _smart barriers_ came smashing the place up.

Stepping out into the sunshine, Alyx lightly took off her headband to scoop her hair back before placing it back on, moving to use the fire escape to head down to the ground level. She was about to start leaving until she heard a noise, glancing to the second story window as it opened.

“_Wait! You’re gonna need a gun! Don’t worry, it’s unloaded_!” Russell then tossed a gun out the window to her, as Alyx watched it bounce onto an old car, shooting out the windshield, causing her to flinch.

“_It’s unloaded now_!” Russell then yelled out, leaving Alyx to roll her eyes and pick up the weapon, looking as he handed her a clip of ammo to reload it with. Once she did, she then gave him a thumbs-up, watching him head back inside, closing the window. 

“What a _loon_.” Alyx commentated quietly before looking to the path in front of her, seeing it partly blocked with a semi-truck and other objects. Giving a heavy sigh, Alyx then shifted her backpack, starting her trek to get past the debris and the like and make her way to the subway entrance. She had only hoped the tunnels weren’t blocked too badly, otherwise she’d have to take a detour - which would cost more time.

Time she didn’t have.

Dr. Kleiner was probably waiting for her to return, or at least Barney was. He was the one who was the most adamant of keeping her confined to the lab. Out of safety, yes, but they were never truly safe. They lived in danger, every waking moment of their lives. Stay in line, keep your head down, be quiet, and don’t ask too many questions. However, for her, it was the opposite. Why _shouldn’t_ they ask questions? How, and why were the Combine here?  
They caught Earth at a bad time. Even so, how did this Resonance Cascade happen in the first place? Who was to blame? As Alyx made her way past the semi, she quietly looked to the gun in her hand. She remembered her first kill. She went outside to scavenge, when some CPs caught her off guard. They thought they could have fun with her - rough her up a bit; but she had turned against them. 

Took their gun and shot them both. She thought at her age, she would be experiencing her first party. Instead, she endured her first defense against the Combine. She **resisted**. And that's what she believed the people should do: _resist_. Of course, it comes at a cost - no one will ever be sure of themselves. Fear definitely set in among the citizens who joined. Would they be like the other citizens who resisted and couldn't escape? Be subdued into inhumane tortures by inhuman individuals? Alyx had admitted - she was fearful too.

However, alongside, she was also angry.

Angry at being treated this way. Angry that innocent people had to suffer in the line of fire during the war. And now even more innocent people are being prosecuted. Was this resistance a good idea, or was it leading to their inevitable doom? Her father popped into her head. Was he indeed alright? Not hearing any communication, for quite a long time left her to be… scared. 

<}_Testing, one-two_.{>

"Jesus, you scared me."

<{_Sorry love, I can't turn water into wine. Not yet at least. Anyway, I’m checking to see if the radio on your backpack still works. Looks like it does, though video feed is a bit janky. That'll have to be sorted out later when you return. Of course, you won't need it again, but fair's fair._}>

“You’re going to watch and listen to everything I do and say?”

<}_I said I’m with you every step of the way. What part of **that** did you not understand?_{>

“I thought you meant figuratively! _Metaphorically_? Whatever. Not **literally**!”

<}_You **think** I’m just gonna give you the Gravity Gloves, and send you on your way into the face of danger, **completely unaware** of where you are with them?_{>

“Yes!” Alyx then flinched as Russell gave a hearty laugh, leaving her to pause in her step and let the man belt on out. She gave an unamused expression, lightly pulling the corner of her lip in annoyance.

<}_I can work miracles, darling, but I don’t believe in you with them._}> Alyx narrowed her eyes some before rolling them and continuing on her trek. She couldn’t argue with him there. After all, it was true; these weren’t hers, and if they were really state of the art and the only kind, then it was best to take care of them. The younger woman had to admit - they were kind of cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sort of made a playlist for what I was writing for, so I recommend listening to 'Abandoned' by Brown Eyed Girls for Chapter Two.


	3. Wanderers

“How much farther, Russell?”

<}_Should be coming up here pretty soon. Hopefully my map is correct. If not, well, then we have to wing it._{>

“Let’s hope not. We don’t have time to _wing it_.” Alyx lightly grunted out as she shimmed past the wall of the alleyway, considering it was a tight fit with all the trash and debris along the floor. Would have made sense to take off the backpack to have easier space to maneuver with, but she hadn’t thought past that stage yet. Once she popped out on the other side, the younger woman gazed to the sky as some Hunter Choppers passed her location.

“So, Russell, what do you know about the Combine? Like, so far? I’m sure you’ve been around longer than me. How old are you, like, _50_?”

<}_Ah, I find that **offensive**. I am ripe no matter what age befalls me. Should be more concerned about yourself. You’re likely young, but you move about as fast as a Sunday driver in a 1978 Bugatti. **Non-existent.**_{>

“_Har har_… ugh, you’re about as annoying as Barney.”

<}_Who?_{>

“He’s a friend of mine. Guardian, well, _previously_. He sometimes took care of me when I was a kid while dad was at the lab.”

<}_So, remind me again. Why **are** you going to your dad’s lab?_{> Alyx vented in as she peeked around the corner for a split second to make sure no patrols were heading her way. Finding the coast to be clear, she then darted across the street and into another alleyway.

“It’s been about three days since I’ve heard any contact from him and I’m getting worried. So, since we’re heading in virtually the same direction as the vault, I’m gonna stop by and visit. With hopes that he’s still there.”

<}_And if he’s **not**?_{>

Alyx paused yet again within that alleyway, venting quietly as thoughts plagued her mind. What indeed would she do if he wasn’t there? Could he have just been traveling with a few rebels to go to Dr. Kleiner’s? And he somehow missed her? Breathing out quietly, the young woman touched her chest as her heart flopped some from anxiousness.

“... Then we _find him_.” Hazel eyes then glanced back to the street she came from, hearing an APC pull up to her location. Alyx then hid behind a dumpster, listening to the CPs that were speaking in code to each other as they left their vehicle.

“Crap. Russell? A little help, I’m a sitting duck here.”

<}_There should be an entrance to the subway somewhere around there, but based on your feed… I’m not seeing it._{> Taking a peek out from behind the trash, her hazel eyes then settled upon the sight of a large wall - a smart barrier.

<}_Ah, that would explain then. Right-o, then let’s try this schematic. There should be a manhole just around that corner. Might have to use the waterworks to get past the wall._{>

“You want me to go in the _sewer_?”

<}_**Waterworks**, darling; big difference. Now, stop complaining and go, before you get caught._{>

Groaning to herself, Alyx waited until the CPs went past her position before making a run for the established manhole cover. Looking to her hands she then moved to see if she could open the cover with a tool, finding a metal hook within a zipper. Using the hook to pick up the cover and slid it aside, the young woman then grimaced at the smell within. Smelled of mildew and mold. 

Luckily, not something _else_.

Taking off her bag, Alyx dropped it down the ladder before moving to climb in, promptly holding her breath as she went underground, using the metal hook to slide the manhole back into place, so it wasn’t out of place. In case those patrols got some information that she was in the area. No doubt they’d want to get a hold of her, after crimes she had committed - even if it was self-defense. Tossing those thoughts inside, the young woman jumped down onto the tile below, glancing around like a deer in headlights.

“Clear so far.”

<}_Oddly._{>

“Why do you say that?”

<}_I thought you might have run into some citizens one way or another, especially here - but… it’s almost **too** quiet. Keep your eyes open, Alyx._{> Keeping quiet, Alyx then collected her backpack to carry after placing the metal hook back where it was. Looking to her gun, she kept it close as she proceeded forward, avoiding the water dripping from some of the pipes on the ceiling. She then shivered as goosebumps spread across her skin - the creep factor in this place was surely knocking her senses around.

“You said you had schematics, right? How did you come across those?”

<}_I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows this guy’s **mum**, who knows her son’s guy who knows me.{>_

Silence. 

<}_No, I’m just messing with you. I hacked it from some outposts some year ago or two. Guess that’s why those Combine bozos want me so bad._{> 

“Figures.” Alyx breathed out as she turned the corner, keeping her arms tucked around her body as she traversed the dark and musty corridor. The sound of water dripping from the pipes into their own established puddles echoed within that hall, leaving Alyx to wonder if she might hear something else. Friend or foe. 

No citizens down there, or even signs of citizens occupying the area. Did the Combine come down here before to clean them out, so to say? She knew they sometimes occupied the canals, but she didn’t know about the waterworks. Or sewer. She believed it was a sewer, just based on the smell, to some degree. Maybe that was the reason the people didn’t want to call this place home - who wanted to live like a mole? 

In dirt; in grime - in god knows what else? 

As Alyx turned the corner, she paused at the sound of something screeching in the distance. It sounded muffled; in pain. Somewhat human, but inhuman. 

“What in the _hell_ was that?” 

<}_You’re in a different kind of territory, missy. Looks like you’re not alone in those works._{> 

“Oh don’t say that. _Please_, don’t say that.” 

<}_That’s why you’ve got the **gun**_.{> 

“Right…” Alyx glanced to her hand as her mind subconsciously had forgotten about the weapon Russell had given her before she left. Checking the ammo for good measure, the young woman then held it up to aim it, for a sense of protection. It wasn’t like she hadn’t killed something before, but not knowing where the hostile was is only racking her nerves even more. She didn’t want to get that impending sense of doom - to call it quits and head back home to Kleiner, where she _knew_ safety was there. Well, in her sense. 

They were never safe. 

At the opposite end of the corridor, when she finally managed to get there, Alyx glanced to the ladder that led her deeper into the systems, wondering if this was indeed the right way to be going. The subway should have been here, nonetheless any indication of a door that said ‘metro tunnel access’ or the like. She believed it wouldn’t say _exactly_ that, but at least some correct details surrounding it. 

“Russell…” 

<}_You’re heading the right way, darling. Just keep calm. Have to work out where you’re at and how much further you have to work around the rubble up top. It’s not easy putting two maps together. We’ve got stuff on it that’s not there, yet says it is on the other map. I just need a bit of time._{> 

“You’re supposed to be my eyes and ears, Russell.” 

<}_**I am**, Alyx. I’m here._{> Reassuring her, Russell’s line then went quiet as he was trying to figure out the maps he had in his possession, as Alyx was taking her time going down the ladder, promptly putting away her gun so she could descend at a careful rate. Once her feet touched the ground, hazel eyes quickly darted everywhere to make sure nothing was waiting for her once she did. 

She could hear her heart thumping in her ears - the hairs on her arms standing on edge as she was hearing other noises now. Gurgling, or was that just water sloshing within the pipes? Alyx inhaled slowly as she found herself in some sort of… laundry room. Was this a basement of an old apartment? Just where in the hell was she now? Did those smart barriers purposefully smash one thing with another? 

Hearing another screech off to her left, Alyx then darted to the wall to hide behind it, moving to peek at what might be in the room with her. Seeing something scurry along the floor, the young woman then backed up to a shelf, moving a bucket out of the way. Hazel eyes caught sight of the creature yet again as it scurried along the floor. Just what in the hell was that? 

However, a familiar chirping sound followed suit, as it seemed just to her left of where she came from. Hearing a shift of some debris, Alyx then backed up as a headcrab made a leap for her, causing her to scream and duck low to avoid it. Moving to hurriedly grab for her gun, the young woman then cursed as she dropped it, moving use the gravity gloves to bring it to her before the headcrab made another leap. She shot it twice, then once more for good measure. Unmoving, Alyx then sat there on the dirty floor, causing Russell to speak up again. 

<}_Alyx?_{> 

“... I’m fine.” 

<}_I know, but you’re not out of the line of danger yet. I suggest you keep moving. Where there’s one - there’s many._{> 

“Right…” Taking a deep breath, Alyx then stood up straight from the grimy floor. He was right, it was best to keep moving. She had her fights with headcrabs once. Yet, that other creature; she’s never seen it before. It was… electrified - like had some sort of energy field or whatever. And a tail. At this point, she rather not take her time. Adrenaline was starting to kick in, as she wanted to flee from the area in case something else wanted to attack her. 

So at best, she could expect headcrabs - among _other_ things. 

Making her way through the basement, Alyx made sure to keep her gun close on her at all times. The gravity gloves seemed to work for the most part, she wasn’t even thinking of using them, yet she did. They sure came in handy; which caused Alyx to chuckle. 

<}_Why are you laughing?_{> 

“The gravity gloves came in _handy_.” 

<}_... Alyx. Please focus. Besides, that joke was a **dead hand**._{> 

“Oh, like you’re any better! That was horrific.” Alyx tried to calm herself down by cracking jokes, as it was tough being alone in a place she’s never been before. Especially with the threat of monsters. As the young woman made her way through the basement, she was sure something had truly died down there. 

Either an animal or… _something_. 

Now she was starting to see signs of human life. Trash being used to make a comfy living quarters, bottles and cans lying about near some old mattress, and several old, mold-encrusted shirts.  
If this was a basement, and not apart of the old waterworks, well, then she could understand if some squatters lived out down there. Still, there was no sign of live people. No bodies to account for either, if someone or something did die down there. Either that, or she wasn’t looking hard enough. Hearing a noise above her, Alyx then glanced up and stepped back as a long tongue-like appendage dripped down slowly from the ceiling 

“Oh god… barnacles.” Alyx tried to see if she had some room to slip by, until she noticed various other tongue-like appendages dripping down from the ceiling of where she needed to go. It was like dodging land-mines - one wrong misstep and she could be finished. Whining lightly to herself, the young woman then took the initiative to collect some of the trash laying around. 

“Alright, make way you… heathens.” Alyx started tossing the trash to the barnacles, which had then caught onto their sticky tongues, compelling them to start dragging the items up to their mouths, leaving the young Vance to slip past unscathed. For now at least. 

<}_Nice thinking. Conserve your ammo._{> 

“You only gave me one clip, and I have yet to find a weapons cache out here.” 

<}_I’m a scientist, not a weapons depot. If people could be killed with logic, the whole Earth might have been in shambles ages ago._{> 

“Right. Like the sheer existence of the Combine isn’t _already_ sending Earth into shambles. I mean, look at what they’re doing. Drilling a hole in the middle of the city, to put their big _Tower of the Gods_ at.” 

<}_Yes, I know, Alyx. I’ve been outside, unlike you._{> 

“Hey! It’s not like I didn’t want to go outside. I couldn’t. Dad wouldn’t let me, Barney wouldn’t let me, even Kleiner. They all thought of me as young, and reckless to some degree. They didn’t - they didn’t put their _trust_ in me. And I’m hoping, once I get to dad’s, he’ll throw that thought out and let me _help_.” Alyx vented out quietly as she pushed some debris aside to reveal a hole in the wall. 

<}_Alyx, to anyone you seem young. And you are a bit reckless. I’m sure if I was your dad, I’d tell you to stay out of this shit while you still can. I don’t think you understand just how much the Combine can ruin your life by being involved in the wrong thing._{> 

“Even though you aren’t my dad, you sure do talk like him.” 

<}_This is universal knowledge now, Alyx. **Anything** that can go wrong, **will** go wrong._{> 

“I wonder if Gordon thought the same thing.” 

<}_**Him** again. Who’s this… **Gordon**? Is he an old boyfriend or something?_{> 

“What? N-No! He’s just a guy my dad used to work with. My dad told me that when Black Mesa went to shit, he was at _ground zero_. So I was thinking - if he thought that day when the Resonance Cascade happened was going to be a bad day, would he have known something like this was going to happen? With the Combine and all.” 

<}_Well, dead men tell no tales._{> 

“He’s not dead!” 

<}_What makes you so **sure**?_{> 

“... I dunno! I think he’s lost. I _believe_ he’s lost!” 

<}_Have you even **met** the guy?_{> 

“... Once. I think long ago, when I was a baby. But that’s beside the point. The point is, I deserve to prove myself! I’m venturing out of my comfort zone, for sure by being here. Sure I’m going against dad and the others’ wishes by doing so. But I want to know what the hell is happening out here. I deserve to be in the now. _In the know_? **Whatever!** I’m not a kid anymore.” Alyx vented in angrily before venturing on through the open wall, dropping down from the rubble that was piled on the other side. 

<}_I’m only going to say this once, Alyx. Being brave is **way** different than trying to prove oneself. Trying to prove to others you’re capable is mostly a selfish thing. Being brave is about being selfless. You darting in front of a moving car or speeding bullet to save someone else is being brave. Showing others that you can shoot a gun just as good as them is being selfish. You can’t be dependable when you’re doing this for yourself. The people don’t need a **hero**, the people need a **leader**._{> 

“What’s the difference? They’re the same thing.” 

<}_The difference is how you perceive your role. Do you want people to follow you because you know the way? Or do you want people to follow you because it’s better to stay together and live longer to see another day? You came on this adventure to know the difference between surviving and fighting against something you hate. Don’t be upset when it isn’t what you wanted._{> 

Quietly reflecting on his words that he spoke to her, Alyx stood there as her hazel eyes glanced to the rubble. Shifting her shoe within it, she then breathed out. Was she really just doing this for her? But it felt like she wanted to see if her father was truly alright. If she was let out earlier, maybe she would see the harsh realities of the world itself, but she couldn’t blame anyone for that. She was young. Dr. Kleiner, her father, even Barney saw horrific things at Black Mesa. She didn’t remember anything of it. So she couldn’t tie in her experience with theirs. 

Maybe she truly wasn’t getting the bigger picture. The world had truly changed and she was only now getting to experience the full of it. Lightly touching her chest, Alyx slowly breathed out as her throat closed up some. The reality hit her - she could _die_ out here and no one would ever know. Russell didn’t know Kleiner or Barney like she did. How would he find and tell them of her death? This was no child’s play and she was sure her father tried to get it through her head by making her stay behind. 

Now she was wandering around, experiencing what it was like for them to be alone, miles underground in that hellish facility where everything practically wanted to kill them. One wrong turn or one bad thought could end it all. 

Did the Freeman feel this way? 

<}_I don’t want to push you, but you shouldn’t idle for too long. The metro tunnel should be close by. Look for a stairway and a sign that says **access tunnel**._{> 

“Right. I’m going.” Alyx vented in and reached for her gun yet again, moving to descend from the rubble as she made her way through the last of the basement. The ceiling was coming apart, letting in light from the rooms above as barnacles grabbed hold of unsuspecting headcrabs to become their dinner. The young woman took it upon herself to use the opportunity to move past them, so she too wouldn’t become another feast. 

There, she found the stairwell of which he was talking about. It lead deep down into darkness, with only one, faded yellow light that flickered above the door. Descending the stairs carefully, Alyx moved some debris aside as it blocked her way some before coming face to face with the door. Reaching for the knob, she gave it a turn before pulling it open, keeping her gun’s safety switch off.  
Once she entered inside, Alyx narrowed her hazel eyes as it wasn’t what she was expecting. 

She was outside. To some degree. Stepping out onto the platform, and letting the door close behind her, the young woman gazed to the hazy sky, spotting a Hunter Chopper fly over ahead. With rumbling underneath her feet, Alyx then took a step back some as a Razor Train came from her right on the tracks, causing embers to spark out from underneath. It wasn’t necessarily designed for a heavier load like that locomotive, but it still worked the same. The Combine did use their ‘primitive’ technology the same way they used it - for transport. 

Of what? The humans hardly even knew. 

Could have been anything. As Alyx watched the train race past her location and into the tunnel to her left, she took off her headband to scoop her hair before placing the band back into its place. 

“Okay Russell. Where am I going?” 

<}_You’re gonna follow the tunnels on your right as far as you can and hope that there’s no blockage in the way. Should take you up to a junction farther ahead. I’ll tell you where to go when we’re there._{> 

Alyx gave a subtle nod as she started following the platform on her right, just hoping not too many obstacles would keep her from getting to her dad’s lab. The sun was still out, at least, but she didn’t know what would happen once it went down. She never stayed out this long, let alone after it got dark. Kleiner was probably worried sick about her. 

<}_Alyx?_{> 

“Yeah?” 

<}_... I’m sure your dad’s alright._{> Hearing his words, Alyx lightly let up the tense feeling in her shoulders, as she couldn’t help but give a small smile. He was trying to make her feel better, as she had indeed gotten quieter after their discussion earlier. Taking a deep breath, she then rolled her shoulders some as she continued on through the tunnel. 

“Thanks Russell.” Hearing the other thank him, the man then turned his head to his left, feeling a presence within his quaint, little lab before muting himself on the radio. 

“Anytime...” Russell quietly spoke, before gazing back to the screens in front of him, watching the camera feed of Alyx moving past some double doors to see more of the platform of the train station. As he had done so, the glowing pair of blue eyes from the corner then softened as they observed. Stepping out of the dark corner, the paled - bureaucratic man straightened his tie and cleared his throat before starting to leave, letting Russell finally be alone to monitor Alyx and her path to her father’s lab. Closing his eyes, Russell then unmuted himself so she wouldn’t think anything of it before gazing back to the map of the terminal and subway station to see how much farther she would have to go. 

To see how much farther she would have to wander. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration to write chapter three came from the song called 'Obsessively Detached(Ethereal Remix)' by A. Krishna.


End file.
